The first kind of question is “Do Mormons really believe [insert favorite absurdity here]?” The REAL question is, “Are you and other Mormons really so stupid that you believe [absurdity]?” Romney’s response should be to the REAL question: “If you sincerely want to explore that issue, I recommend you contact the LDS Church public affairs office at lds.org. If you aren’t really trying to learn more about what Mormons believe, but are simply making a rhetorical statement that really asks ‘are Mormons so stupid that they believe [this]?’, let me answer your real question: Your six million Mormon neighbors in America are just as smart as any other group of Americans. They include their fair share of doctors and scientists and college professors and even journalists. Now let’s talk about what I would do if elected president.”

The second kind of question is “Since Mormons believe [place weird idea here], shouldn’t that cause Americans to worry about electing you because you [follow][don't follow] that doctrine?” The REAL question is, “Since I am smarter than you about Mormon beliefs, shouldn’t I warn America about your [theocratic aspirations][hypocrisy]?” The answer to the REAL question should be “As a lifelong Mormon, let me assure you that your question shows you don’t really understand Mormon beliefs, and they are not relevant to a political issue as you think they are. To educate you in what Mormons really think about this would take hours. I am not here to correct your lack of understanding of Mormon beliefs, let alone persuade you to agree with them. I am here running for the presidency. Let’s talk about specific issues of public policy.”

If someone (like Mikelson at WHO) persists in saying the same thing, Romney should, rather than explain his qualifications as an expert on Mormonism, simply ask the questioner to answer some basic questions that Mormons would know the answer to: “Do you know who Oliver Cowdery was? Who was Martin Harris? Who is Dieter Uchtdorf? Who was Orson Pratt? Who was Heber C. Kimball? Who was James Talmage? Who was LeGrand Richards? Who is Dallin Oaks? Who was Neal Maxwell? Who was Moroni? Who was the other Moroni? Who was Nephi? Who was Alma? Who was Mormon?” After the questioner has stumbled along demonstrating his ignorance, Romney should then say, “If you don’t know the basics of who taught and led the Mormons, and formulated the Mormon understanding of Christianity, you’re not in a position to understand what Mormon beliefs really mean. I am not here to teach you to understand Mormonism. You are welcome to call up the missionaries and start attending Sunday School at your local Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. But in the limited time we have here today, I want to talk about the presidency of the United States. Won’t you join that discussion?”